so far, so lit.

Been saying I feel my spirit being pulled in a certain direction, so I’ve gone quite sometime without writing and without speaking (definitively at least) because when you’re soul is being moved all you can do is stand still. In this stillness you listen, to a lot of things. To stories, to people speaking, even some lying. You have to hear some lies to help make sense of the truth, at least of your own truth. Finally having a day off of work and a night to just listen to music and relax with my family, I can’t stop myself from writing this and saying that you can outgrow a love®. Now this fact could be hard for someone like me to swallow because even though most people don’t see me as a romantic, I truly am. truly. or maybe I am hopeless when it comes to my own love. I don’t believe real love ever ends, I don’t. IF you ever really loved someone, this goes for both participating parties, you would do whatever to keep them. Absolutely whatever. Like I’ve said before, I have always believed there is something animalistic about falling in love, you are snarling and growling at the world to protect your free fall, you don’t want a single thing to disturb or mangle your experience but if it is anything less than wild and carnal — i truly do not want it. i am in love, with my life. my family, my friends, my job, even my occasional loneliness is so intimate and passionate, so i know what kind of lover i can be and how love fits into me. one of the perks of being a Scorpio, i’m such an extremist especially emotionally, and it’s going to take a lot more than someone like a certain person in my past to convince me that love is supposed to be lukewarm and doused in average. it isn’t & I have always known this. somehow I’ve allowed myself into buying into all of that and now that I have my head above water, it all makes sense. I’m not going to “settle of company when (i) want love". nope. nah. so, if it’s average, if it is anything short of magical and doesn’t keep me up in a passionate heat in the middle of winter and has me shook up, shivering in the hot New Orleans nights, I do not want it..