I want all that is meant for me. I believe in a divine order of things and I am a strong believer in each person’s happiness being their own heaven on Earth, so when I say what is meant for me, I mean it in everything. I want no hand-outs. No easy way. No shortcuts. No cheat codes. I want all that is meant for me and how I am meant to get it. In everything, including love. So in that, I am in the process of learning to pace myself with everything. Learning to own the air of a quiet patience. A woman who never rushes greatness because she knows it is written for her - that is whom I strive to be and my life so far has been a testament of patience and prayer being the only way to have everlasting changes cause ripples of positivity and growth in my life so I will continue to adopt that in order to obtain grandiosity from life and love. Especially the latter. Not the type of grandness that is loud and boastful, nor the kind everyone needs to know about (I have become a connoisseur of containing a wall up from those who need no entry in my life; a private person if you will) so I hope that carries into my next relationship. But gahdamnit do I want something bone chillingly consistent. earth shattering kind of loyalty. the kind of love that makes it easier to get up in the morning. no ploys. no games. no easy ways. someone to hold hands with and jump into a pool of reality, but anchoring ourselves, keeping each other safe. I want my heart to be safe; I don’t know what that truly feels like and since we’re being honest here - I’m not sure if I’ve known adult love. I have read it, sampled it, heard it and yearned for it but never felt it. I need that as a grow older and my burdens weigh a little heavier than before; I desire someone to rub my back and to tell me it’ll be alright. Someone to talk to about my double shifts and my crazy coworkers. Someone to share my story with. In a world that causes us to become so one dimensional, I want to be spoiled with a person who I can bask in all of my complex, multifaceted self with. I think that true everlasting love is becoming a luxury … and truthfully I just want it before it becomes a rarity.