trying to find my peace, finding my center and all that makes me happy. it’s a lot easier said than done but it’s a helluva lot smoother when you’re brutally honest with yourself; when you hold that mirror up and ask those tough questions: does this go against my character? will it change me? for the better/worst? does it align with my beliefs? etc … & after all that’s said and done & I’m stripping away excuses and buffers .. all that’s left is the God honest truth about myself. I am soft. sensitive. deeply, deeply touched by my experiences (often too towards my core, so much so that the sheer shock of overwhelming feeling causes me to lock up & sometimes never feel that specific emotion again). I am moved. shaken. inspired. happy. positive. blooming. love. constantly loving & trying to understand love. I am fearless & sometimes that makes me impulsive. I dive in, I am faithful, in God & those around me. I am hopeful & I strive to be a good person … and all these things make up my personhood and I want to defend them. Protect them. I don’t want to ever lose it nor have it fade. I’m not interested in shaving those parts off of myself because therein lies the truth about me. I am all that (& more, just don’t feel like typing it all out) and reminding myself of those qualities makes it easier to navigate life. it’s so much easier to carry on knowing the makings of yourself. decisions are made with a clear heart. intentions are set with a clear mind & even the most impulsive decisions will never feel like regret because it’s something I felt in my soul was right. mistakes are even more easily & throughly forgiven because there’s no one else to blame. accountability. idk, just some more self discovery on these here sleepless nights. gotta go.