Never have I felt more as myself than I have recently. This must be what people talk about when they say the 20′s are about coming into your own and nowadays? I feel that so deeply. None of myself feels forced or feigned. I’m not faking the funk, and nor am I here for the bullshit. But as I’m deterring the bad energy by keeping it through with myself, I feel like I am also opening up in ways I never thought possible. Especially with love. I feel like there are times, on this blog even where I have listed qualities desired. Or I have found myself at the end of situations with forced revelations. The old “it’s time to focus on myself” adages that never get old. All the self-love quotes and books you can find and I have come to realize that you can’t fully move from one stage in your life to the next - be it a high point or a low- without simply giving yourself the time, space and overall opportunity to do so. so much has a changed. a year ago today I moved out on my own and thought I was in love with a man whom which I was going to spend the rest of my life with… months later, I regretted the move so heavily and him and I barely speak anymore. So with all that time I had from then till now, there was NOTHING but that space and I gave myself all the permission in the world to do what I need to grow from that point, to where I am now. and where am i? At Peace. For the first time in a long damned time, I would say my heart is more open and trusting today than I can ever remember it. I am more focused and feel more genuinely interested in living and exploring my life. It’s not a happiness I feel. Joy and Pain are everlasting. Life is constantly happening even in my shitty moments, but this shit right here? This peace? This feeling like no matter what comes my way, I will survive and come out of it as myself at the end? The waking up everyday and Thanking Allah, and talking to my mom, dad and siblings every morning? This running it with my best friend and staying away from those who have never met with good intentions? This guarding my heart while trusting the process of falling in love? This literally living and acting on my own accord because .. Instinct … This right here? I want this forever.