you ever had a person tell you to “protect your heart”? and the very person you need to guard yourself from is the owner of the lips that uttered the latter? what an insane sensation to live a life of continuous protection. what a strange and yet awful thing to declare –

“I survived, I did not live.”
there have never been statues created in honor of those who just “got by” or “made it through” or “maintained”. God did not honor a soul with a lowly human body to simply allow it the luck of coasting. I am not interested in maintenance. I’m not investing years and time just to get by. forgive me if I want colors and laughter that causes my stomach to turn inside itself. sorry if I want to be so angry with something I feel heat rising from my body. I apologize if I not only demand an equilibrium of peace and love and happiness, but I’ll fight tooth and nail for it. Sade sang about being a solider of love, and I’m one of endless peace and happiness with a love sprinkled all the way through. I am going to earn my existence. so protect myself? I will do, but if the choice presents itself, and I must stand in a shell or stand in the flow of life and allow myself to get carried away - I’m already being swept off my feet.