hessaxo:

an ode to, the listener the bystander: 

life is more than just sensibility, ethics and logical decision making, which everyone could make use of but, it’s the things which light your fire and spark your inhibitions so that they are burned down to the ground faster than an oak to a flame that matter most. those things which rip you apart, cause you to break and suffer and become happier and stronger than ever, those things are worth more than anything. the happiest people know happiness because they have known the darkness and love themselves and life for it. the love affair that you start to develop with your own life is the sweetest, stickiest, guiltless, indulgent, passionate and never ending romance you will ever encounter. if you learn to love yourself, you will never get sick of yourself but you will learn to handle yourself with care. if you wine and dine yourself, treat yourself, spoil yourself, understand, trust, believe, uplift, support and overcome and remain honest to yourself, then you will be able to indulge and reflect this inner light to the rest of the world which so desperately needs it. this is me trying to capture my life instead of letting senseless things like the past or uncertainty of the future dictate my now, i will revel and immerse myself in the present as to enjoy it more. i want to spend my right now’s reading all of the books i told myself i would do in due time, buy the things i said are for later, speak the words that seem to cower the second they tip toe across my tongue. i want to live so fully and in the now that i can’t fathom how the next moment could even amount to the beauty of current one. i will create an adventurous and peaceful existence for myself because i have granted myself the power to do so and i have been fueled by my existence - the parts of it that have been both good and bad to get here and i am so glad for the journey. i will write fervently because that’s what i aspire to be. i will write and stretch my inspiration to the tips of my limbs until i am beckoned by the weight of the words to dance and groove, desire pens to accompany me. sail with them, build with them, and undo them as to douse and soil pages with my thoughts. i will love those who need it most in my life unapologetically because they are owed this and i will smile as hard as i can so that my heart my find peace and i will be lovely in my demeanor because my soul deserves me to be. i will make this day, the day that it was meant to be. With the good graces of God above and those who love me most, i will live.

I wrote this 6 years ago and who would’ve known I needed this, today.