girl, 2016 you took the girl for a ride: i started the year off making my friendship with my soul sister stronger, while another friendship i thought was forever withered under the weight of you. i drove to houston for a boy i thought i was in love with. i worked really hard and busted my ass for a position that slipped thru my grips. went thru a baby depression - lost weight& gained it back, only to lose it again. i broke the habit of crying in my car to sob in my head. the apartment i lived in didn’t feel like mine anymore so i packed my shit with my best friend and moved back to a city that, no matter how problematic, will always be home. found silence in life. took a road trip with my cousin from Maine down to New Orleans. I also learned that the art of opening up happens more frequently and elegantly whenever you trust folks & that there’s nothing wrong with me because it is harder for me to do so. I finally moved back in with my parents. I also saw a therapist. I mended my relationship with my father. Realized that familial and generational nuances don’t have to necessarily be a part of my story. I also fell really deeply and profoundly back in love with my self. and not just long baths and champagne kinda loving on myself. I mean internal dialogues and list making and intention setting kind of love with myself. i fell in love with my blackness, my deen (religion), my culture, my mother’s language, the way i problem solve, the way i love whilst also acknowledging that i have issues with communication & i shut folks out sometimes. i also learned that i have an entire universe that exists in my head and often times, it’s better and more safe there than anywhere else. i also learned how to defend myself, speak up and own the space that surrounds my being and that’s a power i’ve only tapped into recently that i hope to harness more. I know everyone has had their qualms with 2016, but above else, just as every day has the opportunity to give and take, i have learned that the chance for a difference really lies within yourself. This entire year was a downward slope from the get: i was conductor of the struggle bus on such a personal level that i didn’t think i was going to survive. But on the cusp of a new year i am sitting here hot coco in tow, heated blanket on, fresh from setting intentions with the aforementioned soul sister, counting down the minutes of the new year with my baby sister: peep this, i went from half empty to pouring over. Alhamdulillah & Subxanallah. For this resilience and this strength, i am eternally grateful. Cmon 2017, the year of the boss up, show me love … inshallah ❤️