There’s probably nothing more sad than realizing ‘maybe it wasn’t love’. Especially when it’s not realized through a breakup and the person is in front of you, doing what they always do. When they look at you how thy used to and it no longer gives you butterflies, you no longer crave to touch their skin, you don’t fantasize about their lips on yours. They once again are a stranger you share memories with, and all that you once felt for them seems like a beautiful dream of what you want to hold with someone forever.

I sat in front of him and I knew it was attachment, not love. I didn’t feel anything when our eyes met and I no longer wanted him to touch me. I kind of felt slightly awkward being near him, considering the week before i was almost aching to be in his arms. Now here he is and I’m wondering what it’ll be like to be with the guy i crave to touch always. I think i’ve got to the stage where i was completely over attaching myself to people nearby because i wasn’t comfortable being alone.

I’ve never been in love, There’s no one that my heart belongs to, so in actuality there are only those I have grown attached to, those I’ve have latched onto to fill parts of my heart I thought needed to be filled.

And i kinda want to fill them myself.

© D, 2014